It's been this way for about 2 weeks, now

[dampscribbler]

The baby simply refuses to go to sleep at night without spending 10-30 minutes screaming first. She napped so wonderfully today, but comes bedtime, and she has to scream like hell. Why??

Comments

[dampscribbler.livejournal.com]

Nope, I leave the room. After 10-12 hours with her through the day, I'm ready to hand her off to Daddy. I hope that's not what is making her mad.

[melanie.livejournal.com]

maybe it is. that doesn't mean that it's a bad decision on your part, though, just because she doesn't like it. ;)

if dad is checking on her every 10 minutes or so, making his presence known while also showing that he isn't giving in and picking her up, then she knows she's not been abandoned all alone. after she realizes that she can't force your hand on the bedtime issue (2-3 days, usually, if you're consistent in NOT giving in and picking her back up) then she'll give in to authority.

do you have a "before bed" routine that you do with her, to give her a little heads-up that bedtime is approaching? for instance, with our daughters it was a clockwork-reliable process of 1. bath, 2. sofa cuddles, 3. book, 4. nursing/bottle, 5. bed. we would start mentioning the word "night night" to them right before the book, because the book was a positive thing. it seemed that, for my kids, letting them know what was coming and not having it as a surprise in any way helped prevent a *lot* of meltdowns. i still give them 10-minute and 5-minute bedtime warnings, and they're 11 and 5. (although lorelei, at 11, often puts herself to bed without having to be told)

now, every kid is different, so your little one might not respond to this like mine did. or you might not be able to bear the crying....me, i was a coward. that's why neither of my kids slept through the night until they were 3 or 4, because i never was able to stick to the bed thing without picking them up until that age. :\ but, really, as long as they know they're not abandoned, they're fine to go ahead and cry.

i'm sure there are some parents who would disagree with me and consider it abuse to make a baby stay in bed when it doesn't want to be there. *shrug* i'm pretty sure my kids don't feel abused (well, except when I make them clean their rooms or do dishes) or have abandonment complexes, though.

[dampscribbler.livejournal.com]

We're still doing a lot of holding her for comfort, since she's jsut 4 months old. She seems to be ready to start weaning away from that now, though, and Eric letting her play in her co-sleeper alone while "checking" on her every few minutes, like you suggest, and she seems okay with that much of the time.

Eric thinks the screaming was related to him swaddling her -- maybe she's jsut outgrowing the swaddling. She's been better with him since he stopped trying to do that.