The impatience of beginning

[dampscribbler]

 Oh, I had forgotten about this part.

The part where I've started, and it's no good yet, and I think:
"I have better stories to tell"
"I chose the wrong story"
"I don't know what I'm saying, and I never will"
"I have SO MUCH to say that I have to get this done soon to move on to the next one."
"I have NOTHING to say, why am I doing this?"
"I have EARTH SHATTERING things to say, but I lack the skills to say them, I should stick to roasting chickens."

And I pick on all of the downer, hard, annoying aspects of my story, and I question the value of my chosen genre, and I doubt my ability to ever touch a heart, and I tell myself there's nothing left of my own heart but a cold stony cinder, and why don't I just go do some laundry.

Sigh.

Oh, yeah, and my language is weak like skim milk and clunky like a shoe box.

I had forgotten about this part.

Comments

[caelista.livejournal.com]

Sounds like Week Two! :-) Keep going!

[dampscribbler.livejournal.com]

Very much Week Two. Or maybe I'm a little ahead of myself on Week One. Either way, thanks! Seriously!

[wordsrmylife.livejournal.com]

Dare to eat a peach! Walk on the beach.

Or, spew the words out so that you have something to work with. Annie Lamott is right about first drafts. Give yourself permission & you can do it!

[dampscribbler.livejournal.com]

Thank you! It's so helpful to have someone cheering for me!

[lorrainemt.livejournal.com]

Ha! I know those pesky thoughts well...sometimes it's best to ignore them and just listen to your heart. Then all those words will pour out from deep inside. Bravo for shitty first drafts--have fun with it!

[dampscribbler.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Onward!

[jelazakazone.livejournal.com]

I think that anyone who can write that their language is weak like skim milk and clunky like a shoe box has a misperception about their ability to use the language. Trust your instincts; they are not wrong.

[dampscribbler.livejournal.com]

It has been suggested that I have impossibly high standards, and that lowering my expectations would be beneficial. I swear I have no idea where that thinking comes from. ;-)

[jelazakazone.livejournal.com]

My therapist recently suggested to me that while I may not be a perfectionist, my standards might be so high as to virtually make me on. That took me aback. I can understand where you are coming from.

[jillbertini.livejournal.com]

Thanks for sharing your gremlins and demons. I hope it helps to get them out of your head where you can look at them. Light is good for everything!

Keep going. I feel you are on the right track.