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What Would Jesus Drive? What?
Jan. 10th, 2003 11:47 amThere's been a lot of hoo-hah in the media this week about Arianna Huffington's new ad campaign, which equates driving an SUV with supporting terrorism.
I'm no fan of the SUV, but please.
On National Public Radio this morning, a guest commentator came to the defense of the SUV, arguing that he loves his, and they're popular, so they can't be bad.
Again -- please.
I think we've all heard the arguments on both sides -- they're safer, they're dangerous to other cars on the road, they can haul anything, they guzzle gas and are driven around hauling nothing but a little blond suburban housewife most of the time, blah blah blah.
Apparantly, now, there are pastors asking their congregations to consider the question "What Would Jesus Drive?"
Excuse me?
The question is not only weird, it's a little shocking and a little offensive.
What would Jesus drive? First, I picture Jesus riding up behind me as seen through my rearview mirror, cell phone earpiece hanging from his (or is it His?)right ear (because hands-free is safer) as he navigates his Lincoln Navigator (plenty of room for hauling disciples) into the left-turn lane. His black beard is neatly trimmed close to his face and his black hair is cut fashionably short, but if you squint you can still recognize him. Maybe by the faint halo around his head as he sits, telling his secretary to reschedule his lunch meeting, surrounded by all that black.
Or would he be in a Honda Insight? The little green thing that's good for the planet because it uses a battery for most of its power, and gets up to 70 miles per gallon of Middle Eastern gasoline. He sits next to me at the traffic light, talking on a cell-phone still, but not bothering with the earpiece because he knows there's practially no safety difference between hands-on and hands-free cellphone use in the car. He's a little more recognizable, with long hair and a longer, scruffier beard, and when he drives past me, I see a "Free Tibet" sticker on his bumper. What if his robes get caught on the gas pedal?
Sorry, none of this is sitting well with me.
Jesus wouldn't drive.
Jesus also would not talk on a cell phone, schedule meetings, or eat a 9-minute lunch at McDonald's.
It's kind of fun to imagine what Jesus would be like, if he lived today. Would he vote Democrat? Would he vote at all? Probably not. He probably wouldn't pay taxes, either. I'm no expert on Jesus, but I'll bet you he would walk. Everywhere. He'd put on several miles a day, and while he might make the occasional impromptu public appearance to a large group, it's more likely he would spend most of his time talking to people one-on-one, or in small groups, at the kind of places where people meet these days -- Starbuck's, Border's, Wal-Mart. Or maybe I'm wrong, maybe he would get on Larry King Live and Oprah to spread his message. Would he take public transportation to these events, or would he maybe let the cameras come to him?
As for SUVs, people are going to drive what they want to drive. I had occasion to drive a small Ford Escape at Christmas time. I didn't like it at all. I felt like I was up too high, it had an enormous blind spot, so I couldn't see other cars around me, and it felt clunky, not at all as agile as my little Honda Civic. I drove it in snow, and appreciated the 4-wheel drive, but not enough to drive that thing around all the time. I actually feel safer in my Civic than I did in the Escape, because I feel like I can handle it better under dangerous circumstances, should they arise. I don't exactly feel safe when there's a big black Navigator bearing down on my Civic from behind, even if the driver is sporting a halo. It would be great by me if people chose not to drive SUVs. But until they do, I'm not going to accuse them of horrific crimes.
I'm no fan of the SUV, but please.
On National Public Radio this morning, a guest commentator came to the defense of the SUV, arguing that he loves his, and they're popular, so they can't be bad.
Again -- please.
I think we've all heard the arguments on both sides -- they're safer, they're dangerous to other cars on the road, they can haul anything, they guzzle gas and are driven around hauling nothing but a little blond suburban housewife most of the time, blah blah blah.
Apparantly, now, there are pastors asking their congregations to consider the question "What Would Jesus Drive?"
Excuse me?
The question is not only weird, it's a little shocking and a little offensive.
What would Jesus drive? First, I picture Jesus riding up behind me as seen through my rearview mirror, cell phone earpiece hanging from his (or is it His?)right ear (because hands-free is safer) as he navigates his Lincoln Navigator (plenty of room for hauling disciples) into the left-turn lane. His black beard is neatly trimmed close to his face and his black hair is cut fashionably short, but if you squint you can still recognize him. Maybe by the faint halo around his head as he sits, telling his secretary to reschedule his lunch meeting, surrounded by all that black.
Or would he be in a Honda Insight? The little green thing that's good for the planet because it uses a battery for most of its power, and gets up to 70 miles per gallon of Middle Eastern gasoline. He sits next to me at the traffic light, talking on a cell-phone still, but not bothering with the earpiece because he knows there's practially no safety difference between hands-on and hands-free cellphone use in the car. He's a little more recognizable, with long hair and a longer, scruffier beard, and when he drives past me, I see a "Free Tibet" sticker on his bumper. What if his robes get caught on the gas pedal?
Sorry, none of this is sitting well with me.
Jesus wouldn't drive.
Jesus also would not talk on a cell phone, schedule meetings, or eat a 9-minute lunch at McDonald's.
It's kind of fun to imagine what Jesus would be like, if he lived today. Would he vote Democrat? Would he vote at all? Probably not. He probably wouldn't pay taxes, either. I'm no expert on Jesus, but I'll bet you he would walk. Everywhere. He'd put on several miles a day, and while he might make the occasional impromptu public appearance to a large group, it's more likely he would spend most of his time talking to people one-on-one, or in small groups, at the kind of places where people meet these days -- Starbuck's, Border's, Wal-Mart. Or maybe I'm wrong, maybe he would get on Larry King Live and Oprah to spread his message. Would he take public transportation to these events, or would he maybe let the cameras come to him?
As for SUVs, people are going to drive what they want to drive. I had occasion to drive a small Ford Escape at Christmas time. I didn't like it at all. I felt like I was up too high, it had an enormous blind spot, so I couldn't see other cars around me, and it felt clunky, not at all as agile as my little Honda Civic. I drove it in snow, and appreciated the 4-wheel drive, but not enough to drive that thing around all the time. I actually feel safer in my Civic than I did in the Escape, because I feel like I can handle it better under dangerous circumstances, should they arise. I don't exactly feel safe when there's a big black Navigator bearing down on my Civic from behind, even if the driver is sporting a halo. It would be great by me if people chose not to drive SUVs. But until they do, I'm not going to accuse them of horrific crimes.
