Starting . . . again

[dampscribbler]

Hey, writers! 

I've been "working" on this thing for a while, and I worked on it some more yesterday, and I've noticed something about my process.

Most of us know by now that writers throw all kinds of roadblocks in their own way, usually blocks created by some sort of doubt. "This is boring." "No one will care." "I'm not doing anything new here." etc etc etcetcetcusw

Well, I've discovered one in my repertoire that I hadn't before realized existed. It has several names --

"I can do this better."  "This isn't good enough." "What if I tell it this way instead?" "Well, that's okay, but I see twelve other ways it could be done, I should try something else."

Identifying the beast for what it is -- another form of doubt -- feels like an achievement, because it helps me take it less seriously, shove it aside and move on, but this one's still a humdinger at the moment. I figure the best way around it is through it, so instead of starting over again (and I think I've started this one close to a dozen times in the past 3-plus months) I'm going to just keep writing forward, telling myself the story, and get that first draft out.  

I hope.

Have any of you noticed this tendency in yourself? Does it have other names/messages I should be watching out for? 

Happy writing, everyone!

Comments

[jbknowles.livejournal.com]

You can do it!!!! I think I let fear of failure slow me down all the time. But then I tell myself all I have to do is finish the draft, no matter how shi**y it is. Just get something from a to z so I have something to work with. And once I give myself that permission, I'm usually able to get there. It helps to have a writing partner threatening me if I don't get to work. :)

[jelazakazone.livejournal.com]

At the moment I'm not trying to write original fiction, but I just keep telling myself I'm playing and not trying to write anything "good". It helps me get words out and not worry about how it's going to be received, etc.

[dampscribbler.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Jo!

I've actually got a new critique group meeting this Friday, and I have to take pages in for that, so that's lit a fire under me for sure, but I can see that the desire to re-work the same few pages until they're "perfect" could derail legitimate progress.

I am SOOOOOO picky! (More with myself than anyone else, but I can be pretty rough on others sometimes, too.)

First draft or BUST! :-)

[dampscribbler.livejournal.com]

Wow. That's awesome. I feel like I can't even take a page to a critique group unless it's prize-worthy. I so have to get over it!!

On the other hand, I do manage to win ultra-short contests. (I've won two!) So, it works for me sometimes. What I'm working on right now isn't ultra-short, though. :)

[jelazakazone.livejournal.com]

:D Thanks. I post stuff on LJ and a few people comment. I've got an AO3 account where I've been posting stuff too.

This week I seem to be busting out the words. I don't know where they are coming from.

Wahooo! Do what works.

[dampscribbler.livejournal.com]

This is the fanfic, right? (I hope that's the right term.) I see your posts, but I haven't read one in ages -- I don't know any of the characters or situations. :-) I think it's great that you do that for fun, though. Keep it up!

[jelazakazone.livejournal.com]

Yep, fanfic.

It's hard to read fanfic when you don't know the characters. I wrote one "series" that focused on an original character, but it definitely helps to know the characters. I don't like to read fanfic of shows I'm not familiar with either.

Thanks! It's a lot of fun. And I do find myself thinking, "this is not good, it could be so much better, no one will read it, etc." I just have to keep telling myself that it's just for fun:D

[jeniwrites.livejournal.com]

I keep running into that problem with the current WIP. I'm going to allow myself to re-do the previous chapter--and then force myself to keep going until the end. I know that the beginning will need to be revised, and I know how it will eventually be revised--but revising it now seems counterproductive, because in the end, all first drafts require revision. At least I know how I should revise it. That's the toughest part.

I say you and I should continue beating on that beast of self-doubt until we're finished.

[dampscribbler.livejournal.com]

I know I'll be revising, and I need to remind myself that just because I *think* I know what will be different in the second draft doesn't mean I know everything for sure, yet. I know a lot of the story, but honestly I don't really know the characters yet, and it's possible that more or different events than I'm anticipating will come up, but not if I never get past the first chapter!

Kill the Beast! :-)

[caelista.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, I just went through that with my current project. In the dreaded second week it hit me that maybe my setting was all wrong and the story would be much more interesting if I moved it somewhere else. There went 18k words that I'd already written. I had to really think about whether this was just doubt and confusion, but in this case it does seem like a good move.

Now I'm thinking this story might be much more interesting with a different main character... ;-)