When did you learn to take yourself seriously?

[dampscribbler]

When did you learn to respect what you do?  Were you able to take your interests seriously in your teens?  Follow your bliss in your 20s? Were you in your 30's before you realized that it was okay to seriously commit to the study of obscure 17th century romantic tapestries?  Are you still trying to take yourself seriously?  Commit to something that feels not respectable?  

I think about this kind of thing a lot.  I'd love to hear your stories, and I'll tell you mine, over time.

Thanks.

Comments

[jillbertini.livejournal.com]

This is an interesting question. I've always been excruciatingly serious. But giving myself the space and respect to explore the things I feel passionate about? HARD. I would say it's something I struggle with. I devalue those things. By most people's standards, I'm "successful." I have always wanted to write. And not just diary entries, but STORIES. And I love storytelling. I always hear my father's voice: you can't make a living doing that. So I've settled and done something else, and in the margins I flirt with writing. Actually, I haven't done any decent writing in probably over a year. I imagine it's something I will always return to. But making the time for it and committing to writing consistently - I'm not there yet.

[dampscribbler.livejournal.com]

You're singing a familiar refrain, Jill. I've always been serious too, almost (but not quite) to the point of absurdity. And yet taking seriously that which resonates within me, my heart or my soul or whatever you choose to call it, is very difficult. I've always wanted to write, too, and I'm just now getting myself to do it, and it's feeling really good and *right*, which is a little odd. Years ago I could enjoy writing, but it felt like self-indulgence, like I was playing a silly little game that I would soon have to stop to do something "serious," which in fact gave me horrible anxiety. I actually believed I would be punished somehow for enjoying writing! The writing project I've got going at the moment isn't giving me anxiety, and I'm enjoying it immensely, but it feels somehow illegitimate, (I came to this question by starting a much longer more detailed post that I've saved for another time) and I'm wondering what to do with that feeling.

[jillbertini.livejournal.com]

I believe we could join the same chorus ;-). I think it's one reason why I feel so much affinity with you.

I'm glad to hear you are enjoying your current experience with writing and there isn't any anxiety with it! You don't know what to do with that feeling? Cultivate it!

[dampscribbler.livejournal.com]

Hee! I meant the illegitimate work feeling, not the lack of anxiety!

One thing that is hard is that there really is truth in those concerns about making a living, and so it is prudent to take on something that may provide a reasonable paycheck, but not to the exclusion of those things we're passionate about. Balance, balance.

Speaking of which, now's my "socialize with my spouse and then get to writing" time, so I'm offline for tonight. Thanks for playing!