I think I really suck at this parenting thing

[dampscribbler]

Naptime. One would think this could be defined as "the time at which a parent puts a child in bed for approximately one hour, then gets some housework done." In our house, it's "the time at which one parent speaks calmly while one child screams in agony for approximately twenty minutes, after which the child finally acquiesces to stay in her room for a period of time between five and forty-five minutes, during which the parent restrains herself from emptying the liquor cabinet down her own gullet by reading icanhascheezburger.com, cakewrecks.blogspot.com, and other such life-enhancing resources."

Comments

[kaleidoscopeeye.livejournal.com]

Ug. So far I have been pretty lucky in the nap department. On the days when it doesn't go well, I feel like crying. I can't imagine if it happened on a regular basis.

[dampscribbler.livejournal.com]

I blame myself. (What else is a mother to do?) But of course I shouldn't, she's always been a terrible sleeper, which is why I had to start her in daycare at 7 months. I do feel like crying sometimes, (and I felt like it this time, which is why I complained), because I can go from being in a reasonably good mood to feeling cranky, shaky, and tired in the matter of a few minutes.

I have a friend whose daughter *asks* for her nap. Oh, what I would give!

[kaleidoscopeeye.livejournal.com]

I was like that as a kid, here is hoping I passed that on to my two!

[jelazakazone.livejournal.com]

I have two kids who rarely nap. DD1 never naps any more. DD2 occasionally naps. I could not wait for this day. I hate it when DD2 naps. Because then she goes to bed late. I love that she's asleep by 7:30. Of course, DD1 was not this way. When she gave up naps, she went to bed at 9 (instead of 11:30) which was still a vast improvement.

I think you are doing fine and housework is over rated.

[dampscribbler.livejournal.com]

We thought she might have phased out her nap, but then she started being insane child in the evenings, and one night last week fell asleep before dinner, so we've re-introduced napping. So, part of the problem is probably that she thinks she can negotiate her way out of it. What's funny is that the harder she fights, the more obvious it is that she needs it. What's not funny is the headache I get when she fights.

She is also still going to bed on time just fine, so we have to take that as an indication that she needs the nap.

Bed at 9, yikes. What time does she wake in the morning? Mine's in bed a bit after 8, but wakes between 5:30 and 6:30 most mornings, which frankly is a little early for me, but I haul her into bed with me for another hour of sleep and it works most days.

[dampscribbler.livejournal.com]

PS -- Housework is definitely overrated, but stubbed toes hurt, so eventually it becomes necessary. :)

Okay, I promise this is my last reply to your reply

[dampscribbler.livejournal.com]

"I think you are doing fine" is probably the nicest thing a mother can hear from another mother. Thank you!

Re: Okay, I promise this is my last reply to your reply

[jelazakazone.livejournal.com]

Hey, that's what I'm around for. To affirm my parenting friends. Mothering is a lonely endeavor with little feedback.

Napping is such a tricky beast. We took naps entirely away from DD1 initially, but then she would be awful in the evenings, so we started having her nap once a week and then eventually phased that out and she would nap once a month (when we were in the car on a long drive to a Sacred Harp sing).

If you have a kid who is cranky when she doesn't nap and still goes to bed fine, that says to me that naps are still a good idea. What I didn't get initially was that it didn't have to be every day.

Well, DD1 has pretty consistently gotten up between 6:30 and 7 (assuming she's adjusted to East Coast time) for years (she's six now). When she was actually going to bed at 9, she was getting up after 7:30. Now that school is going, she's moving her bedtime up (hurray!) and last night she was asleep by 8:15. The time she goes to bed doesn't really seem to affect the time she wakes up. It takes a long time for that to adjust. This is a child who has always been low on the sleep needs scale (which is in contrast to her sister who obviously got her sleeping genes from me:)).

Um, did I just talk about sleep a little much there? I am pretty out of it at the moment. I'm still waiting for dinner to hit my blood;)

As for housework, I started to care about it this year, but I do it and no one notices and then I get angry. I wish I could go back to not caring.

Re: Okay, I promise this is my last reply to your reply

[dampscribbler.livejournal.com]

Housework is one of those evil things that people only notice when it's *not* done. I hate that.

I cannot for the life of me figure out how we got a kid who is at the low end of the sleep needs scale, as her Daddy and I both love our sleep -- I do best with 9 hours, especially if they're between 11pm and 8am. Daddy can stay up until midnight but needs to sleep until 7:30 on weekdays and 9:00 on weekends. (And you should have seen me during pregnancy -- 10 hours minimum, often 13-14. Thank God I didn't have a job then.)

Mmmm...dinner....

[wordsrmylife.livejournal.com]

Omg, I had one of those, too. Although she didn't always scream. But short naps were the rule from day 1. I loved my sister-in-law's response--"An hour. That's barely enough time to have a cup of tea!" She got it, even though hers slept for 2-4 hours.

The good news is, those short nappers are that way, I think, because they don't want to miss a thing. Once they don't need naps, they're great fun.

[dampscribbler.livejournal.com]

An hour would have been nice at the early age. She rarely napped more than 20 minutes. Which is why I lost all my baby weight in 6 weeks. I was starving to death. Now she naps 40 minutes to an hour, unless she falls asleep on me, where she can sleep for 80-90 minutes. Whee!