As a brief aside, that LJ link to halseanderson... sends you to what looks like a spam account promoting "The Top Dentists in Baton Rouge, Louisiana!"

And I'd also point out that "glacially slowly" really isn't so slow anymore, what with Global Warming melting everything at a shockingly fast rate!

Here's one: get all the snowmakers from all the ski resorts all over the world and start making snow and ice for Greenland!

I'm probably not going to solve anything.